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January 25, 2013

Dreams

I'm a person who has vivid dreams.  I can recall with great clarity the specifics of the nonsensical madness that runs through my head while I sleep.  My dreams are usually nothing more that a strange or funny story to tell the next morning, but sometimes there seems to be more to them.  I don't believe in analyzing every dream, but I do pay attention to underlying themes in recurring dreams.  With that being said...

I once heard that when there is a car or transportation device in your dream it represents your life.  If it's big, small, broken-down, etc. and who is driving the vehicle all represent feelings about where you feel your life is going.  I've had a lot of recurring car dreams lately.  Sometimes I'm driving, sometimes someone else is.  The cars come in all different shapes and sizes.  The specifics of the dream are really unimportant, but I try to remember how I feel in the dream as the situations play out. 

Recently in a dream, Justin and I were driving along Pohick Road in Springfield, Virginia, one of the places I lived as a child.  Pohick Road is tree lined with many twists and curves.  We passed the familiar entrance to the Newington Forrest neighborhood where I attended elementary school.  A few curves later we passed the back of my old house, which was slightly visible through all the trees in our backyard that lined Pohick.  We wound past many familiar settings and I shared memories with Justin along the way.  Then, we got to a point on the road where it was different.  I no longer recognized the once-familiar path.  It changed dramatically, and an interstate overpass suddenly cut through the trees.  Cars raced past through a now dangerous intersection that didn't exist before.  Immediately I felt lost. I didn't know where I was, but even worse, I didn't know where I was trying to go in the first place.  I completely lost all my bearings. 

This dream occurred a week or so ago when I felt lost, to say the least.  I was not spending quality time in my Bible or with God each day.  I stayed busy for the sake of staying busy.  My coping strategy of fun projects turned unhealthy before I knew it. 

After my dream, I knew my lost bearing was Jesus.  I knew without him I had no compass, purpose, or security.  He felt distant to me, but it wasn't because he moved.  I drifted/ran away from him in my frustration and fear, and in turn I was scared and confused. 

How many times do we see this same story in the Bible?  Our church has a daily Bible reading/devotional called Join the Journey and we're reading through Genesis right now.  It's amazing to read that Abraham, considered one of the most faithful men in the Bible, tried to do things on his own when God's timing seemed slow.  He struggled with waiting and uncertainty, too, yet God still considered him righteous because he believed in God's promises.  The Israelites turned from God countless times, and it grieved God because he loved them.  He knew the best thing for them was closeness and intimacy with himself.  When Israel repented and turned back to God, he welcomed them with open arms.  I am also fortunate to be welcomed back with open arms through the blood of Jesus.  I rely on God's grace to choose God daily.  Without him I am lost.   

Something I need help learning again and again is that I can't let David become my central focus.  God must remain in my sights at all times.  Sometimes God's in there concurrently with David, Abby, Justin or something else, but God must always be there.  He is my bearing.  Without him I feel the jolts of David's ever-changing condition more violently.  With him, the jolts are cushioned.  Thank you God for always welcoming me back! 

Amen, and sweet dreams!